I’m “Boring” When I Don’t Like People (But I Dance in the Dark With My Friends)
If I don’t like the energy in a room, I go quiet.
Very quiet.
Suddenly I’m:
-
“Serious”
-
“Reserved”
-
“Hard to read”
-
“A bit boring”
But put me in a room with people I trust?
I’m dancing in the kitchen at 11pm to a song we all pretend we don’t love.
It’s not that I’m boring.
I’m selective.
I Don’t Perform for Access
There was a time I tried to be:
-
Palatable
-
Likeable
-
Adaptable
-
Easy
Now?
If I don’t feel safe, I conserve energy.
No fake laughs.
No over-explaining.
No over-performing.
Silence is cheaper than pretending.
My Nervous System Chooses the Playlist
When I don’t like someone’s energy, my body knows.
I become:
Observant.
Measured.
Minimal.
When I do like someone?
My shoulders drop.
My voice lifts.
My humour appears.
The dancing happens.
Joy requires safety.
Safety requires trust.
Boring Is Just Boundaried
People often confuse:
“Not performing for me”
with
“Having no personality.”
I have personality.
You just don’t get access automatically.
Access is earned.
Stability taught me that.
Dancing in the Dark Is the Real Flex
There’s something powerful about being:
Calm in chaos.
Grounded in yourself.
Unbothered by rooms that don’t fit.
And then absolutely ridiculous with your real people.
That’s balance.
Multidimensional adults exist.
I’m Not Cold. I’m Calibrated.
If I don’t vibe with you, I don’t force it.
No drama.
No hostility.
Just low bandwidth.
Energy is a resource.
And I protect it.
The Quiet Confidence
The older I get, the less I need universal approval.
I need:
A few solid people.
Calm mornings.
Loud laughter in safe rooms.
That’s wealth.
Not the loud kind.
The aligned kind.
Final Thought
I’m not boring.
I’m selective.
I don’t dance for everyone.
I dance where it’s safe.
You don’t have to be fun for everyone.
Just fully yourself in the right rooms.
And sometimes?
That looks like dancing in the dark with the right people.
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