Why Does My Narcissistic Mother Make Everything About Her?

When Your Mum Turns Every Moment Into Her Spotlight 🌸

By Vikki – How To Feel Fucking Amazing

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If your mother seems to make everything about her—your achievements, your problems, even your birthday—that’s not just difficult, it’s emotionally exhausting. And if she’s narcissistic, this behaviour is painfully predictable.

Why does my narcissistic mother make everything about her?

Because narcissistic mothers can’t tolerate attention that isn’t centred on them. They need constant validation and emotional control, and your joy, pain or success triggers insecurity instead of empathy.

Why can’t she celebrate me?

Narcissistic mothers struggle to celebrate their children because your success threatens their sense of superiority. Instead of feeling proud, they feel overshadowed.

Why does she always redirect conversations back to herself?

Because narcissists don’t see other people as separate emotional humans. Conversations are opportunities for attention, not connection.

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Why does she ruin my achievements?

Your achievements remind her of her own insecurities. Instead of supporting you, she competes with you. This feels personal, but it’s her emotional wound, not your fault.

Why does she play the victim?

Narcissistic mothers use victimhood to gain sympathy, control and emotional focus. If people feel sorry for her, she gets validation.

How does this affect daughters?

You learn to shrink yourself. You learn to apologise for existing. You learn you’re “too much” whenever you feel proud, happy, or seen. And that’s emotional damage.

How do I protect myself?

1. Lower emotional expectations

She won’t suddenly become supportive—and that doesn’t mean you’re unworthy.

2. Share achievements with safe people

Your joy deserves to be celebrated without competition.

3. Stop trying to “win” her approval

Her approval was never available.

4. Validate yourself

Your feelings are real even if she dismisses them.

Is this normal with narcissistic mothers?

Yes. Narcissistic parents commonly make every situation revolve around their emotions, needs, pain or opinions. It’s a pattern, not a coincidence.

FAQ

Is it my fault she acts this way?

No. Narcissism comes from her emotional issues, not your behaviour.

Will she ever change?

Not usually. Change requires self-awareness, which narcissists avoid.

Can I heal from this?

Yes. Healing starts with seeing the pattern clearly instead of blaming yourself.

Before you go…

You didn’t cause this. You can’t fix it. You didn’t deserve it. And you’re allowed to be someone who chooses peace over chaos.

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