Refunds I Paid So You Don’t Have To
Life doesn’t punish you — it invoices you
I have an important announcement, brought to you by my past decisions and a mild sense of emotional whiplash: everything is a refund.
Not the cute kind where your money reappears and you feel like a savvy consumer warrior. I’m talking about the other kind. The life refund. The “congratulations, you played yourself” refund.
Here’s the rule: if you do stupid stuff, you pay for it. That payment is the refund. Life doesn’t scream at you — it just quietly slides the bill across the table and watches you read it.
Refund #1: The “It’ll Be Fine” Meal
You know the type. The menu is laminated. The lighting is suspicious. The waiter calls you “boss” like you’re about to get mugged.
You order the thing you know you shouldn’t order. You eat two bites and immediately regret your entire personality. Your refund is paid in stomach ache and self-disgust.
Lesson: If a restaurant has Comic Sans on the menu, you are not dining. You are gambling.
Refund #2: The Relationship With “Potential”
Ah yes, dating someone’s potential. The emotional equivalent of buying a broken toaster because it “has good bones.”
You ignore the red flags because you’re “being understanding.” You rewrite their bad behaviour into a tragic backstory. You become the unpaid intern of someone else’s personal growth journey.
Your refund is paid in anxiety, tears, and one playlist called something like “healing era (do not contact).”
Lesson: Potential is not a personality. It’s a brochure.
Refund #3: The “Treat Yourself” Financial Incident
You had a day. You deserved a treat. And by “treat,” you meant “spending like an heiress who’s never heard of electricity bills.”
A few days later, your card declines in Tesco and you have to do that specific smile that says, “I definitely have money, I just enjoy embarrassment.”
Lesson: If you have to say “it’s basically free” to justify it, it is not basically free. That is maths from the Circus.
Refund #4: The Time Refund (The Most Offensive One)
This is the one that stings, because time doesn’t give store credit and it certainly doesn’t send apology emails.
Time refunds happen when you stay too long in situations that drain you: jobs, friendships, relationships, habits, “phases,” and anything that makes you say, “I’m just trying to get through the week” as your default life plan.
Lesson: If it costs your peace, it’s overpriced.
How to stop paying the same refunds
Look — paying refunds is part of being human. We all order the wrong thing sometimes. The issue is when you keep going back to the same menu and acting shocked it still tastes like disappointment.
- Keep the receipt: write down what happened and what it cost you (money, time, peace, dignity).
- Don’t romanticise it: “It wasn’t that bad” is how refunds become subscriptions.
- Raise your standards: especially for how you’re spoken to, treated, and respected.
- Reorder wisely: choose choices that don’t come with side-effects and regret sauce.
Pay your refunds. Learn the lesson. Then upgrade your life like you’re the CEO of your own nervous system. Because life will happily keep invoicing you — but you don’t have to keep buying the same crap.
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