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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...
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The Real Mum Diary

 

3rd November — First Day Back After Half Term

Today felt like a small victory.

The house is quiet again — school’s back in session. I managed to get all the laundry done (even the socks that hide in corners), kept the income flowing, and most importantly… my child is smiling.

Nothing’s perfect. The dishes are still in the sink, my inbox is a war zone, and I haven’t had a proper sit-down meal in days. But I try to fill every day with joy — even if it’s just dancing in the kitchen while reheating leftovers.

Because joy isn’t found in perfection. It’s found in the mess, the effort, the love.

And today? I showed up. That’s enough.

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