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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...
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The Mum Diary – 7am Guy Fawkes Morning

 



Getting tge the kids ready for school.

Full day of never-ending work ahead.

Laundry is already on because apparently these children produce clothes at the speed Amazon produces cardboard boxes.


I’m tired.

But there’s fireworks tonight – and for once, for a GOOD reason.

Not trauma fireworks.

Not narcissist fireworks.

Actual fireworks.

Pretty lights in the sky because human beings want to celebrate something instead of survive something.


And that matters.


It’s funny how the smallest things become power statements when you’ve lived through war-zones disguised as relationships.


The real flex today isn’t the productivity, it’s the fact that I get to enjoy fireworks with my kid… in peace… with no psycho creating chaos in the background.


Healing is sometimes that simple:


Kids fed.

School run done.

Work getting done in the real world.

Washing machine humming.

And tonight I get to look up at the sky and smile because I built a life where explosions are now part of a celebration — not part of surviving a narcissist.


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