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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...

I’m just trying to get the laundry done before Monday.

And somehow that sentence feels like the entire summary of womanhood.


It’s never just laundry.

It’s the mental load.

It’s the Sunday reset.

It’s the pressure to start the week “together.”


Like if I start Monday with clean clothes in drawers, maybe everything else will feel a bit more in control too.


I don’t need to conquer the world today.


I just need clean pants and a quiet brain.


That’s enough.


Love,

Vikki.


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