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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...
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😂 I Built This Blog for ME… You’re Lucky I’m Here Helping YOU Too (Hahahahahaha)

I Built This Blog for Me (You’re Lucky I’m Here Helping You Too)

I Built This Blog for ME… You’re Lucky I’m Here Helping YOU Too (Hahahahahahah)

Let’s just get one thing straight: I did not build this blog to be wholesome, inspirational or spiritually angelic. I built it because my life was on fire and I needed somewhere to scream.

So yes, I built this entire blog for ME.

Me, myself, and the version of me who desperately needed someone to grab her by the shoulders and say:

“BABE. Get up. You’re a legend. Stop letting life punch you in the tits.”

I didn’t start this blog because I woke up one day and thought, “Do you know what the world needs? Another perfect self-help guru.”

Absolutely not.

I started it because I was:

  • tired,
  • traumatised,
  • confused as hell,
  • done being the emotional punching bag for narcissists, chaos goblins and emotionally stunted adults in grown-up clothing.

And while I was busy crawling out of my own wreckage, rebuilding my life and taking notes like a nerd in a disaster movie… I accidentally became wise as fuck.

So yes. I built this blog to save ME.

And now you lucky bastards get to benefit from it too. Hahahahahahahaaaa.

I Didn’t Mean to Become “That Person” Who Helps People

You know the type:

  • the inspirational blogger,
  • the healing mentor,
  • the internet big sister,
  • the “I’ve been through hell, here’s a map” woman.

I became that person completely by accident.

This space was meant to be:

  • a rant corner,
  • a notebook for my trauma recovery,
  • a place to process narcissistic crap,
  • a safe outlet so I didn’t message my toxic ex something unholy at 2am.

Then people started reading it.

Then people started sending messages like:

  • “Holy shit, this is exactly what I needed.”
  • “How do you know my life?”
  • “Did you break into my brain?”
  • “You’re like therapy but funnier and cheaper.”

And I realised something:

Maybe all the bullshit I went through wasn’t just suffering. Maybe it was training. Maybe it was material. Maybe my emotional damage is now your emotional upgrade.

I’m Not a Coach. I’m the Friend Who Survived the Explosion and Came Back With Notes.

There are two types of people in life:

  1. The ones who walk around the mess.
  2. The ones who walk straight through it, get blown to pieces, crawl out smoking, and say:
    “Okay ladies, do NOT go in there. Here’s what NOT to do.”

I’m number 2.

A walking cautionary tale with Wi-Fi, a keyboard, and a blog.

I don’t preach. I’m not here to be saintly. I’m not floating on a cloud of sage and affirmations.

I do:

  • truth,
  • laughter,
  • swearing,
  • massive “BLOCK HIM” energy,
  • and “you’re not crazy, you’re just surrounded by idiots” reality checks.

If that helps you? Amazing.

If it doesn’t? Also fine.

Because once again, louder for the people at the back:

I built this blog for ME.

But I Love That You’re Here… Even If You’re Here Because Your Life Is on Fire

Let’s be honest:

People don’t Google:

  • “how to rebuild my identity after a toxic relationship”
  • “why do I attract narcissists?”
  • “how do I stop feeling like shit?”

because they’re having the best day of their lives.

They’re Googling that because they’re on the sofa in an oversized hoodie, hair in chaos, staring at the wall thinking:

“How the actual fuck did I end up here again?”

And guess what?

Same, babe. Same.

That’s why this blog hits so hard. That’s why you’re laughing AND crying AND nodding at your screen.

Because I’m not writing from some glossy, filtered “after” photo. I’m writing from the trenches, the flashbacks and the bank statements.

So Why Am I Helping You?

Because once you climb out of hell, you don’t slam the lid shut and say “good luck down there”.

You stand at the top, lean over the edge and yell:

“OI. There’s a ladder over here. Also, that demon is full of shit.”

I’m not here to be a saviour. I’m here because:

  • I survived things I thought would kill me,
  • I rebuilt my life from emotional rubble,
  • and I decided if I’m going to have scars, they’re damn well going to be useful.

The fact that my mess turns into your “aha moment”? Beautiful.

The fact that my blog helps you feel less broken, less alone, less crazy? Even better.

The truth?

We’re all helping each other.

  • Me, writing the things I needed to hear.
  • You, reading them and refusing to give up on yourself.
  • Both of us, quietly choosing to rise.

Hahahahahaha. Look at us. Accidentally healing and shit.

Final Message: Mutual Selfishness = Magic

I built this blog for ME.

You’re lucky you get to read it. I’m lucky you’re here reading it.

Mutual selfishness. Mutual survival. Mutual glow-up.

Now go and be fucking amazing… because I’m busy writing the next post that will drag you, hug you, and hype you up at the same time.

We’re just getting started.

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