HFFA

Saturday Morning (According to My Dog)

A funny, honest, dog’s-eye view of lazy weekends and questionable human decisions.

Posted October 11, 2025 · 2 min read

“Mum, it’s Saturday morning.” We went to the pub last night and met so many dogs. You said we were just going for one. You lied.

He’s looking at me like I hold the answers to the universe (and all the snacks). I’ve already achieved two miracles: got up and made tea. I’ve also committed one betrayal: I opened my phone.

“Just let me out for a wee. I’m sitting in my basket, RC* aimlessly. What are we doing today? Is it roast dinner day? Walk? Back to the pub for more dog gossip?”

(*RC = Really Contemplative. Also, probably hungry.)

He watches my tea. He watches me scroll. He knows the rules: if I open the fridge, there’s hope; if I put the kettle on again, it’s doom. He’s planning his Saturday like a hungover little life coach:

• 09:00 — Assess human. Still in dressing gown? Check.
• 09:20 — Apply face-to-knee pressure until tea is shared.
• 10:15 — Walk probability: 63%. Increases to 89% if “pub” is mentioned.
• 13:00 — Roast smell patrol. Strategic napping by oven.

Saturdays are chaos wrapped in comfort. Maybe we’ll walk. Maybe we’ll roast. Maybe we’ll just sit in our pyjamas pretending this was the plan. Either way, he’s watching — silently judging, eternally hopeful, and slightly hungover by association.

And honestly, same.

So if you’re reading this with a cup of tea and a pair of expectant eyes staring at you — go make the roast, take the walk, or pour another cuppa. Your dog has already forgiven your bad decisions. Probably.

Subscribe for more funny weekend chaos About HFFA

P.S. If your dog writes a better blog post than this, please submit it via tail wag only.

Tags: Dogs, Saturday, Weekend Humour, Relatable Life

Share: Tweet · Share