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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...
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Chapter: When Mum’s Crazy Nearly Killed Me (But Now I Just Laugh at Her)

There’s messed up… and then there’s “my parent harassed me so much I wanted to un-alive myself” messed up.


Welcome to the club. We don’t have jackets, but we do have wicked comebacks and very low tolerance for bullshit.


I spent my childhood like a contestant on Survivor: Narcissist Island—except no one voted me off. I just got served daily doses of guilt, blame, and psychological whiplash with a side of “you’re the problem.”


At one point I thought the only way out was out. But spoiler alert: I didn’t die.

She just ran out of new ways to be horrible and started recycling old ones.


Now, instead of crying, I roll my eyes so hard it counts as cardio.

Instead of lying awake wondering what’s wrong with me, I lie awake binge-watching shows while reminding myself: I broke the chain.


If you’ve ever been driven to the edge by a parent who thinks they’re the Queen of Everything, guess what? You’re not weak. You’re survivor-grade strong. You got through Olympic-level mental torture from someone who should’ve been your safe place. You’re basically bulletproof now.


And here’s the funniest thing:

They tried to crush you. And here you are… writing your own damn story.


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