🎬 Freedom From Narcissists: Doorstep Edition

Title: THE DAY SHE TURNED UP (AND YOU DIDN’T GIVE A F*)**

Opening Scene:

It’s a peaceful day. You’re sipping coffee, living your best life, birds are singing…

🚪BANG. BANG. BANG.

Cue villain music. There she is. The narcissistic mother, undefeated, uninvited, and unwanted.

But this time… you’ve got the ultimate weapon:

Agree with everything. Do the opposite. Smile like you just won an Oscar.

🎥 Script Example 1: The Birthday Guilt Bomb

👹 Her (dramatic): “I’m all alone on my birthday… you’ll come, right? RIGHT??”

😇 You (Oscar-winning performance): “Absolutely. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

🎉 Cut to: You. Party hat on. Netflix playing. Self-celebration mode. Zero contact. Cue happy montage.

🎥 Script Example 2: The Obligation Monologue

👹 Her (accusatory): “You never call me. I’m your mother. People will talk!”

😇 You (Oscar-worthy tear in your eye): “You’re so right. I’ll call later.”

📵 Cut to: You turning off your phone, painting your nails, going for a run, absolutely not calling. Credits roll.

🎥 Script Example 3: The Family Sabotage Plot

👹 Her (snide): “Don’t you dare see your brother, after all he’s done.”

😇 You (Oscar smile): “Yeah… I’ll stay away.”

🍻 Cut to: You and your brother clinking pints, eating burgers, posting stories with the caption “Family goals”. End scene.

🎬 Why This Works Like a Masterpiece:

✅ You don’t get dragged into another crap sequel called “Guilt Trip Part 763.”

✅ You get peace and quiet while she thinks she “won.”

✅ You leave the drama to the professionals (Hollywood, not your doorstep).

✅ You’re the lead character in your life now — not her unpaid sidekick.

Tagline:

“Agree. Smile. Shut the door. Fade to freedom.”