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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...
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Chapter: Two Minutes Was All It Took—Brick Parenting 101

Picture this: I nip out the room for literally two minutes—two—and come back to my baby getting an introductory course in narcissistic rage with a side of blunt force trauma.


“It was just a tap,” she said, while my kid’s sitting there like, what the hell just happened?


Because apparently in the Narcissist’s Guide to Grandparenting, smacking a child across the face with a brick is completely fine—as long as you downplay it immediately after.


That was the moment it hit me (well, hit my daughter)—this woman wasn’t safe, never had been, and never would be. And it wasn’t my job to keep forgiving it or explaining it away.


Lesson learned:

• Trust your gut.

• Two minutes is more than enough time for a narcissist to cause chaos.

• And some people need to be permanently benched from your life roster.


Honestly? My daughter is thriving because I didn’t let that cycle continue. That’s the win. And now, I get to tell these stories from a place of strength, not silence.


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