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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...
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Chapter: The One-Hour Visit—World Record for Flakiest Grandparent

Ah yes… the time my narcissistic mother promised she’d come up for a whole week after I’d just had a baby. You know—support, bonding, all that jazz. She made it sound like I was getting the royal nanny treatment.


Reality? She barely made it through one hour before finding a random excuse to vanish.


Apparently, newborn cuddles weren’t as thrilling as whatever dramatic thing she invented on the spot. I blinked, and she was halfway out the door.


“Oh I just remembered… my neighbour’s cat looked at me funny, I need to get back.”


Motherhood is hard enough, but trying to navigate it while dodging flaky narcissist theatrics? Olympic-level endurance test.


But hey, the silver lining?


  • Less drama in my house.
  • My baby got to grow up without constant nonsense around.
  • And I got a solid story to laugh about—because let’s be honest, a one-hour grandparenting shift is almost impressive in its uselessness.



Moral of the story: some people make better distance relatives… preferably several counties away.


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