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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...
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Chapter: Grandma of the Year—She Was Safe Though!

One of my personal “not” favourites: there we were in town, my narcissistic mother proudly pushing the pushchair… until she calmly rolled it into the road. Cars whizzing past, people looking horrified—and there she stood, smug as anything on the pavement.


“I was safe though,” she said. Like my baby was just some extension of her handbag.


That’s the narcissist in a nutshell: as long as THEY’RE fine, nothing else matters. Your baby could be in traffic, your mental health could be in ruins, but hey—they’re still standing on the curb, so everything’s apparently fine.


That was the day I realised: I wasn’t going to fight for scraps of care anymore. If you can roll a baby into danger and call it fine, you don’t get babysitting rights, you get lifelong distance.


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