🥦 Ode to My Sexy Plate of Veggies🍳

 I once thought energy came in a can,

Or from coffee so strong it could kill a man.

But one fine day, with a fork in hand,

I ate like a goddess — not like a brand.

Broccoli winked, spinach gave sass,

Eggs on the side? A protein class.

No sugar, no crash, no brain-fog stew —

Just fibre, flavour, and a proper poo.

Kale didn’t gaslight, carrots were kind,

No drama, no chaos, just peace of mind.

My cells stood up and gave a cheer:

“She’s finally feeding us! Sound the beer—

Wait, nope — false alarm — she’s sober now.

Never mind, let’s just detox her brow.”

I wiped my mouth like, “Well, damn, okay,”

Felt like I could run a 10K (or at least slay the day).

My body said “thanks,” my skin said “glow,”

Even my liver did a little disco.

So now I dine like a crunchy queen,

Greens, protein, and vibes serene.

No more jitter juice or fried regret —

Just meals so clean, my ex is upset. 😌