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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...
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🧠 The VIKKI Test: Finding Clarity Without the Merlot!

Ever found yourself knee-deep in someone else’s drama, two sips from a bad decision, or wondering “Wait, is it me?”

Yeah — same.


So I created The VIKKI Test. Not to be confused with a government health warning or a Cosmo quiz. This is your clarity compass — sober, sass-filled, and 100% wine-free.





What’s The VIKKI Test?



It’s a 5-part gut-check to help you figure out:


  • whether you’re losing yourself,
  • getting sucked into someone else’s mess,
  • or just need to go to bed instead of overthinking it all.






V — 

Vibe Check



How does it feel? Not how it looks, not what it says on the tin.

🧨 Is it making you anxious, drained, or second-guessing your own reality?

🚦 Green flag or walking headache?





I — 

Is This Mine?



Is this your problem to fix, or did you pick it up like a stray emotional cat?

💬 Ask: “Would this still matter if I had boundaries?”





K — 

Keep It Real



Are you being honest with yourself?

Are you sugar-coating something toxic or laughing off something that actually hurt?

👀 Clarity doesn’t lie — but we often do (to ourselves).





K — 

Kicked It Before?



Have you danced this dance before?

🌀 Is this a pattern, a person, or a problem you’ve already booted from your life?

If it smells like old trouble in new clothes — it is.





I — 

Is It Worth It?



Final question. Truly.

🧭 Is this helping you grow, rest, shine, or heal?

Or are you just trying not to feel?





The Aftermath



If something fails the VIKKI Test, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed — it means you just passed a major clarity checkpoint.


Put down the wine. Pick up your peace.




Clarity without the Merlot isn’t always easy — but it’s always worth it.

Try the VIKKI Test next time your brain’s doing backflips at 2am. It won’t pour you a glass, but it will help you find your damn centre.


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