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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...
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You’re Not Broken. You’re Just a Badass in Recovery

Let’s get one thing straight: If you’re sitting there wondering why you can’t focus, why everything feels like a chore, why your motivation packed its bags and ghosted you—it’s not because you’re lazy. It’s because you’ve been holding it all together for way too damn long.


Maybe, like me, you left a relationship that drained your soul. Maybe you jumped into another one too fast just to feel something safe. Maybe you’re trying to rebuild your life, work, mental health, finances, and faith in humanity all at once. And maybe… you’re exhausted.


Of course you are.


And I want to tell you something important:

Joy isn’t gone. It’s just been hiding behind your survival mode.


You’re not broken. You’re just tired. And underneath the overwhelm, there’s still a version of you who laughs at inappropriate memes, dances in the kitchen, and knows she deserves more.


So let’s find her again.



Here’s your joy prescription for today:



  • Play a song that makes you feel like the main character. Loud. Repeat if necessary.
  • Eat something that makes zero nutritional sense but full emotional sense.
  • Text someone something absolutely ridiculous. (No context needed.)
  • Stare at the clouds and name them after your regrets. “That one’s Carl. He was a waste of mascara.”
  • Fake laugh until it turns real. It’s weird. It works. Try it.



You don’t have to fix your whole life today.

You don’t have to have all the answers.

You just have to feel something good—even if it’s tiny.


Because that? That’s how it starts.


This is your comeback season. And guess what? You don’t need to wait to be perfect before you enjoy your damn life.


Joy is not something you earn.

It’s something you reclaim.


You with me?



Need a little extra backup?



I’ve got books that go deeper into emotional healing, boundaries, and building your self-worth—without the toxic positivity.

Plus, I’ve handpicked a few affiliate self-love reads and even some RFID-blocking gear—because feeling emotionally and physically safe is a whole vibe.


Check them out on my other pages…. 

Because sometimes healing starts with a good book… and knowing no one’s cloning your bank card.



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