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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...

How to make friends in a new city

 Making friends in a new city can be an exciting opportunity to expand your social circle. Here are some tips to help you make friends in a new city:


1. Get involved in the community: Join local clubs, organizations, or community groups that align with your interests. This can provide opportunities to meet people who share similar hobbies or passions.


2. Attend local events and meetups: Look for social events, networking gatherings, or meetups happening in your new city. Websites like Meetup or local event listings can help you find activities and groups to connect with.


3. Take classes or join a gym: Enroll in classes or join a gym to pursue your interests and meet people with similar goals. This can provide a structured environment for socializing and building connections.


4. Volunteer: Engaging in volunteer work not only allows you to contribute to the community but also provides opportunities to meet like-minded individuals and form friendships based on shared values.


5. Utilize online platforms: Explore online platforms and communities specific to your new city. Websites, forums, or social media groups dedicated to the local area can help you connect with people and find events or activities happening nearby.


6. Attend social or cultural events: Look for local festivals, art exhibitions, concerts, or cultural events happening in your new city. These events often attract a diverse crowd and can be a great way to meet people with similar interests.


7. Reach out to colleagues or neighbors: If you have recently moved for work or have new neighbors, take the initiative to introduce yourself and strike up conversations. They may have suggestions for local activities or be interested in exploring the city together.


8. Be open and approachable: Smile, maintain open body language, and show genuine interest in others. Be proactive in initiating conversations and be open to invitations or suggestions from others.


Remember, building new friendships takes time and effort. Be patient, be yourself, and be open to new experiences. It's also important to be proactive in maintaining and nurturing these new connections once you've made them.

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