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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...

How to set healthy boundaries

 You can’t look after everyone and everyone else is responsible for their emotions, you are only responsible for your life to treat yourself kindly, responsibly and with healthy boundaries. 

For example if someone may get into your car and get a cigarette out and about to light it but your car has never had a smoker in it so you need to stop them straight away by saying “you may smoke in your car, but this is a non smoking car. If you need a cigarette please get out and do it outside” 

You don’t need to be nasty, just communicate your boundaries clearly and don’t let people cross them. 

If someone serves you an unhealthy meal say “ thank you but unfortunately I can’t  eat this kind of food, I’m on  a “healthy only diet” 

If someone just turns up at your door, say “it’s nice to see you but can you please call before turning up, I’m busy”

You get the gist! Again, you don’t need to tell them to fuck off which is very tempting haha just be assertive

You got this 

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