Always “On,” Never Off: What Years of Being the Only Responsible One Does to Your Body
It's 7am and I'm still in bed. I've got an hour to get ready for a 40-hour week I haven't even started yet, and I'm already exhausted. Not tired in the "didn't sleep well" way — I did sleep, actually, as well as you can in this heat. Tired in the way that doesn't have a reason attached to it. Tired that was already there when I woke up. I'm not reaching for coffee to fix it either, because I know exactly what happens if I do — I'll be asleep at my desk by 2pm and useless for the rest of the day. So I'll just sit with it instead, the way I have most mornings for longer than I want to admit. Why does this happen even when I've slept? Because this isn't about last night's sleep. It's about the accumulated weight of being the only responsible one, for years, with nobody to hand any of it off to. That kind of tired doesn't come from one bad night. It builds up in your body over time, and sleep alone doesn't to...