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Narcissists Aren’t Broken — They’re Wired That Way

Narcissists Aren't Broken — They're Wired That Way. Here's Why That Changes Everything For years, the popular story about narcissists went something like this: underneath the arrogance is a wounded child, someone so fragile and ashamed that they built a fortress of ego just to survive. It's a comforting idea. It suggests there's a hurt person in there somewhere, waiting to be reached. But a growing body of psychological research — and the clinical experience of trauma specialists working directly with these personality patterns — is pointing somewhere else entirely. The so-called Dark Triad traits (narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy) may have far less to do with upbringing and far more to do with how a brain is built from the start. That shift in understanding isn't just academic. It changes how we protect ourselves. The Myth of the Wounded Narcissist One of the biggest misconceptions is that narcissists are secretly fragile — that their g...
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Words Will Never Hurt You Again: Why Evil Words Aren’t Worth Listening To

There's an old saying that words will never hurt you. It's not quite true — words can absolutely land, sting, and stay with us. But here's what is true: not every word deserves that kind of power.

Some words come from people who know you, who love you, who want you to grow. Those words are worth sitting with, even when they're uncomfortable.

And then there are words that come from somewhere else entirely — cruelty, jealousy, someone else's unresolved pain looking for a place to land. Those words were never about you. They were never true. And they don't deserve a seat in your head.

How to tell the difference

  • Feedback is specific, comes from someone who has your back, and is offered to help you.
  • Cruelty is vague, comes from someone tearing you down, and is offered to make themselves feel bigger.

If it's the second one, you're not obligated to take it in just because it was said to you.

What it actually looks like to stop letting evil words in

  • Naming it for what it is. "That was cruelty, not truth" is a complete sentence.
  • Not repeating it to yourself later. The person who said it gets one shot. Don't hand them a second one by replaying it on a loop.
  • Checking the source, not just the sentence. Ask what kind of person says that. Often it tells you far more about them than it does about you.
  • Choosing who gets access to you. You can't control what people say. You can control how close you let them stand.

This isn't about becoming numb or pretending nothing ever hurts. It's the opposite — it's staying open enough to receive real love and honest feedback, while getting sharper at recognising what's just noise dressed up as truth.

The words that were never true don't get to live rent-free in your head. Not today, not ever again.

This post is for general information and reflection, not professional or therapeutic advice. If unkind words are affecting your mental health, or you're dealing with ongoing verbal abuse, please consider speaking with a qualified therapist or counsellor.

Love, Vikki

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