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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...

Possible Book Idea: You're Just Not My Cup of Tea

You're Just Not My Cup of Tea — Coming Soon

A memoir — coming soon

You're Just Not My Cup of Tea

A story of cozy, cold, and everything in between

I can't do this anymore. I put everything valuable in my car. And asked him to leave. Before that there were weekends. Shouting in the dark. No duvet. Just a pillow. Before that there was a pub. A mobile phone. And nobody to talk to. Before that there was a bag. And at the bottom of it. Another phone. Before that there were Sundays. And text messages. And prostitutes. Before that there was a diary. Skull and crossbones. And a child nobody mentioned. Before that there was Spain. I almost didn't come back. Before that there was a pool. I sank to the bottom. Nobody quite knows who pulled me out. Before all of it. There was a gran who made cozy meals. And a mother who was just. Not my cup of tea.

“I’m crazy because I know the truth.”

Coming Soon

Some people are your cup of tea. Most aren’t.
This is my story — and it’s not for everyone.
Just the curious ones.

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