It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better: Why Chaos Escalates the Moment You Stop Feeding It
It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better: Why Chaos Escalates the Moment You Stop Feeding It You finally stop reacting. And somehow, everything gets louder. Here's why that's not a sign you're failing. Short version: When you stop responding to manufactured chaos the way you used to, it often escalates before it settles down. This is a documented behavioural pattern called an extinction burst — a temporary spike in intensity that happens when a behaviour that used to get a reliable response suddenly stops getting one. It's the same reason a toddler's tantrum gets briefly worse right before it stops working. Knowing this in advance stops you from giving up at the exact moment your new approach is actually starting to work. You stop reacting to the drama. You go quiet instead of defending yourself. You stop dropping everything for the manufactured crisis. And for a stretch of time, things don't calm down — they get worse. Louder accusations, bigger react...