What to Say When Someone Asks How Much You Earn

In Britain we'll discuss our bowel movements before our salary, and yet someone always asks anyway. Here's what to say back.

Short version: You don't owe anyone your salary, whether they're a nosy relative, a new acquaintance, or a colleague fishing for comparison. "I don't really talk numbers" is a complete answer. If they push, the awkwardness is theirs for asking, not yours for declining. Below is a range of responses, from breezy to blunt, depending on how many times you've had to say it.

Someone asking how much you earn is rarely simple curiosity. It's usually either about sizing you up, comparing themselves, or making conversation with absolutely no sense of the room. Whatever the reason, you're allowed to keep that number entirely to yourself, for any reason or none.

The line for people who just need one

• "I don't really talk numbers, sorry."
• "Enough to get by, more than enough to not discuss it at a party."
• "That's between me and my accountant."
• "Comfortable, and that's as specific as I'm getting."

For the person who asks twice

• "Same answer as before — still not telling you."
• "I really don't discuss that, but nice try."
• "You first, then we'll see."

For the person who won't let it go

At some point, "how much do you earn" stops being small talk and starts being an attempt to rank you. You don't have to play along.

• "I've answered that, let's move on."
• "That's a genuinely strange thing to keep asking."

And if they still won't drop it after all that? Fuck off. Your salary was never public information, and repeatedly demanding it doesn't make it their business.

Frequently asked questions

Is it rude to ask someone how much they earn?+

In many cultures, particularly the UK, discussing personal salary is generally considered a private matter and asking directly is often viewed as socially inappropriate outside of specific professional contexts.

How do I politely refuse to say how much I earn?+

A brief, non-defensive answer such as "I don't really talk numbers" tends to work well, since it declines the question without requiring further justification or explanation.

Love, Vikki x