How to Look After Yourself After an Abusive Relationship

Let’s be honest: abuse changes you.

Not because you’re weak. Not because you’re broken. But because you gave so much of yourself to someone who didn’t deserve it.

And now? You’re exhausted. Wary. Angry. Sad. Maybe a little numb.

Looking after yourself isn’t optional — it’s essential.

Step 1: Take Your Power Back

Small, simple actions matter: turning off notifications, deleting toxic contacts, reclaiming your space.
Decide what you won’t tolerate anymore.
Set boundaries even if it feels awkward. Your energy is precious.

Think of it like clearing out a cluttered room — you need space to breathe.

Abuse leaves your nervous system on high alert. Recovery means teaching it safety again:

Grounding exercises: slow breathing, foot-to-floor awareness, noticing your surroundings.
Micro-play: dance in the kitchen, sing in the shower, laugh at a ridiculous meme.
Rest: naps, quiet time, or just staring at the sky.

Safety = energy = clarity.

Rediscover hobbies you abandoned.
Journal your feelings without judgment.
Ask yourself: “What do I actually want today?” and do one small thing that aligns.

The goal is re-establishing YOU — not anyone else’s expectations.

Trusted friends, supportive family, or online communities like this one.
Professionals: therapists, coaches, or counselors are not a luxury — they’re guidance for your nervous system.
Limit exposure to people who drain or judge you.

Pro tip: You don’t owe explanations. You only owe yourself care.

Your body is your ally. Treat it like the home it is.

Tiny wins rebuild confidence and help your nervous system know you’re safe now.

Healing after abuse is not linear. Some days are messy, exhausting, or tear-filled. That’s okay.

Looking after yourself means:

You are not broken. You are learning to carry yourself lightly again.

And slowly, step by step, that’s how you feel fucking amazing again — stronger, wiser, and unapologetically you.