Your Inner Voice Is Not You — It’s Everyone Who Ever Spoke to You Without Love
🌌 Your Inner Voice Is Not You — It’s Everyone Who Ever Spoke to You Without Love
This is for the person whose brain says things to them that they would never say to anyone else.
You are not born with a voice that hates you. You learned it. Now you’re allowed to unlearn it.
🧠 The Voice in Your Head Has an Origin Story
You weren’t born thinking:
- “I’m ugly.”
- “I’m disgusting.”
- “I’m lazy.”
- “I’m too much.”
- “I’m not enough.”
- “No one will ever want me.”
- “Everything is my fault.”
Babies don’t come out of the womb hating themselves.
They learn who they are from the way people react to their existence.
So when your inner voice says:
- “Shut up.”
- “Stop crying.”
- “You’re so dramatic.”
- “You ruin everything.”
- “Nobody wants to hear you.”
that’s not your authentic self. That’s an echo.
💣 The Harsh Way You Speak to Yourself Is a Translation of How People Spoke to You
Think back. Who:
- rolled their eyes when you were upset?
- ignored you when you needed comfort?
- called you names (even as a “joke”)?
- made you the family punchline?
- criticised your body, your weight, your looks?
- mocked your dreams?
- guilt-tripped you for having needs?
Now listen to the voice in your head. Sound familiar?
- “Stop being so sensitive.”
- “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
- “No one cares.”
- “You’re a burden.”
- “You’re disgusting.”
- “You’re going to end up alone.”
You keep thinking, “Why am I like this?”
A better question is:
“Who talked to me like this first?”
🧬 Your Inner Critic Is a Safety Mechanism, Not a Personality Trait
You might tell yourself:
- “I’m just negative.”
- “I’m just hard on myself.”
- “I’m just a perfectionist.”
No.
You became hyper-critical of yourself so you could:
- judge yourself before anyone else did
- “fix” yourself before anyone rejected you
- control how bad the pain felt when people were unkind
- prepare for the next attack
- reduce the chances of being humiliated again
Your inner critic isn’t random cruelty.
It’s a shield your nervous system built in self-defence.
🔍 Sometimes Your Inner Voice Is Your Abuser, Not You
The next time your brain says:
- “You’re pathetic.”
- “You deserve this.”
- “Of course they left.”
- “Who do you think you are?”
- “You’re not that special.”
Pause and ask:
“Whose voice is this really?”
Maybe it’s:
- a parent who never healed their own wounds
- a narcissistic mother who competed with you
- an ex who broke you down to control you
- a bully from school
- a teacher who shamed you in front of everyone
- a “friend” who made you the joke
You internalised them because your brain thought:
“If I become them, maybe I can prevent them from hurting me again.”
So you started attacking yourself in the same ways they did.
Not because you hated yourself. Because you wanted to feel in control of the pain.
💔 Self-Hatred Is Just Old Abuse Turned Inwards
Self-hatred sounds like:
- “I’m disgusting.”
- “I ruin everything.”
- “I shouldn’t exist.”
Underneath that is:
- the child who was never comforted
- the teen who was mocked instead of guided
- the partner who was gaslit instead of loved
- the single parent who was blamed for everything
- the survivor who was never believed
You are not “randomly broken”.
You are repeating to yourself what the world taught you to believe.
🌱 Rewiring Starts with One Question
Every time that vicious voice speaks up, instead of automatically believing it, ask:
“Is this actually me — or is this an old voice I’ve been carrying?”
That one question creates space.
In that space, you can:
- answer back
- soften the tone
- say something different
- decide not to take it as truth
Your authentic self doesn’t speak to you with hate. Your authentic self says things like:
- “That hurt.”
- “I’m scared.”
- “I’m sad.”
- “I need a hug.”
- “I want better.”
- “I deserve more.”
The rest is programming.
🧡 How to Start Talking to Yourself Like Someone You Care About
You don’t have to jump from “I hate myself” to “I love myself.”
Start with:
- “I don’t deserve to be spoken to like this.”
- “No one deserves to be called names for making a mistake.”
- “Of course I’m struggling — I’ve been through a lot.”
- “It makes sense that I feel this way.”
- “I’m allowed to be human.”
When the inner voice says:
“You’re so stupid.”
Try:
“That was a mistake. I’m learning.”
When it says:
“You’re disgusting.”
Try:
“My body has carried me through everything. It deserves care, not hatred.”
When it says:
“No one will ever want you.”
Try:
“I have been wanted by the wrong people before. I’m learning to want me first.”
You are not “being delusional”. You are offering yourself the basic kindness you should have had all along.
🌈 You Are Not the Voice — You Are the One Hearing It
The voice in your head is loud because it’s old. It’s wired in. It’s automatic. It’s rehearsed.
But here’s the magic:
If you can notice it, you are not it.
There is a part of you that can:
- observe
- question
- interrupt
- disagree
That part of you is the real you.
The real you is not cruel. The real you is tired. The real you is scared. The real you wants peace.
And that real you is strong enough to learn a different way of speaking.
👑 The One Line 5 Trillion People Need to Hear
If you remember nothing else, let it be this:
“My inner voice is not who I am. It’s an echo of how I was spoken to. I am allowed to choose a new voice now.”
You are not destined to be bullied by your own brain forever.
You are allowed to:
- mute that old script
- question where it came from
- rebuild how you speak to yourself
- slowly become a safe place inside your own head
You survived their voice. You don’t have to keep repeating it.
You are not the abuser in your own story. You are the one who finally says:
“We don’t talk to me like that anymore.” 👑
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