Unavailable to Chaos

By Vikki

I’m not hard to reach. I’m just no longer available for chaos

If it comes with drama, confusion, mind games, mood swings, guilt trips, or emotional car crashes – I’m busy. Permanently.

Important: You’re allowed to decide that peace is more important than being “nice,” “available,” or “the bigger person.” That’s not cold. That’s clarity.

What Being “Unavailable to Chaos” Actually Means

It doesn’t mean you hate people. It means you’ve retired from:

• arguing for hours with people who don’t listen
• explaining yourself to the same person 17 times
• fixing other people’s messes
• living in group-chat drama
• negotiating your boundaries like they’re optional

I don’t do chaos anymore. I do calm, soft, quiet, and occasionally unbothered as hell.

Signs You’ve Entered Your “No Chaos” Era

1. You Reply Slower to Certain People

Not because you’re rude – because your brain has learned: “This conversation will drain me.”

2. You’d Rather Stay Home Than Be Around Unstable Energy

The older (and more healed) you get, the less appealing chaos looks. Loud, messy, unpredictable people start feeling like a threat, not entertainment.

3. Your Favourite Hobby Is Peace

Tea. Bed. Calm. No one shouting. No one demanding. No one trauma dumping in your DMs at midnight.

4. You No Longer Engage in Pointless Debates

Arguing with someone who’s committed to misunderstanding you? No thanks. Enjoy your wrong opinion in peace.

People Who Won’t Like This Version of You

Here’s who usually gets upset when you become unavailable to chaos:

• people who were used to overstepping your boundaries
• people who liked you better exhausted and compliant
• people who feed off drama
• people who think access to you is a right, not a privilege

Read that again. Their discomfort is not a sign you’re wrong. It’s a sign the old dynamic is dying.

How to Be Unavailable to Chaos (Without Explaining Yourself)

1. Reduce Access

You don’t have to block everyone (unless you want to – respect). You can also:

• mute chats
• ignore calls when you’re tired
• stop answering instantly
• step back from constant availability

2. Use Simple, Calm Phrases

You don’t need to prove your case. Try:

• “I’m not having this conversation again.”
• “That’s not something I’m willing to discuss.”
• “No, that doesn’t work for me.”
• “I’m taking space.”

3. Stop Explaining Your Boundaries to People Who Violate Them

If they keep crossing the line, it’s not because they don’t understand. It’s because the chaos serves them.

Chaos vs Peace: Who Gets Your Energy?

Ask yourself:

• Who makes my body feel tight, nervous, or on edge?
• Who makes me feel calm, seen, or lighter?

Your energy is not neutral. Every conversation, every interaction, every message either gives you something or takes something.

Start investing your energy where it comes back with interest – not where it vanishes into drama.

Soft Life, Strict Boundaries

“Unavailable to chaos” doesn’t mean:

• you’re bitter
• you’re angry
• you’re closed off forever

It means:

• you’re softer with yourself now
• you’re kinder to your nervous system
• not everyone gets full access to you

This is the soft life with iron boundaries. Calm on the outside, steel spine on the inside.

Your turn: What kind of chaos are you officially unavailable for now?

Comment with one word: “family”, “exes”, “work drama”, “group chats”, or “all of the above” 😈

Reminder: You are allowed to create a life that feels calm, boring, and safe. People who love chaos will call it “too much.” People who love you will call it “I’m happy you’re finally okay.”