The Version of You That You Abandoned Is the One Who’s Been Waiting to Come Home
🌍 There’s a Version of You You Abandoned Because You Thought They Were Unlovable — and That’s the Version Who’s Been Hurting Ever Since
This is for the part of you that was too sensitive, too honest, too soft, too hopeful, too “much” — the part you shut down to survive.
If you’ve ever looked at your life and thought, “I don’t even know who I am anymore,” this is why.
💔 Read This Slowly
There is a version of you who:
- loved loudly and without calculation
- trusted easily
- dreamed wildly and unapologetically
- spoke freely without rehearsing every word
- felt deeply and showed it on their face
- believed in magic, in miracles, in possibility
- asked for help without shame
- admitted when they were scared
- didn’t apologise for needing connection
- didn’t shrink to make other people comfortable
And at some point in your life, someone made that version of you feel wrong.
Maybe they laughed. Maybe they shamed you. Maybe they ignored you. Maybe they called you “too much” or “too emotional” or “dramatic”. Maybe they punished your honesty and rewarded your silence.
So, piece by piece, you shut that version down.
🧠 You Didn’t “Grow Up” — You Self-Protected
The world told you:
- “You’ve matured.”
- “You’ve toughened up.”
- “You’re not as naive anymore.”
But here’s what actually happened:
- You didn’t become quiet — you became careful.
- You didn’t become strong — you became armoured.
- You didn’t become cold — you became defended.
- You didn’t become independent — you became unsupported for too long.
- You didn’t become “unemotional” — you became someone who learned emotions were unsafe to show.
This wasn’t your “personality” evolving.
This was self-protection.
🔥 The Hardest Truth: You’re Grieving Who You Had to Stop Being
You didn’t just lose:
- relationships
- friendships
- homes
- jobs
You lost:
- your joy
- your innocence
- your softness
- your trust
- your wonder
- your silliness
- your creativity
- your fearlessness
- your voice
The heaviness you feel today — the numbness, the “nothing excites me anymore”, the aching sense that something is missing —
That’s the grief of who you had to stop being to survive.
It’s not just depression. It’s self-abandonment pain.
🌱 Healing Isn’t Becoming Someone New — It’s Reuniting With Who You Were Before You Were Hurt
The world says:
- “Become the best version of yourself.”
- “Reinvent yourself.”
- “Upgrade. Level up.”
But what if:
- the “best version” is the one you left behind?
- reinvention isn’t necessary — reunion is?
What if healing looks like:
- letting yourself laugh the way you used to
- letting yourself dream again without mocking yourself
- letting yourself trust gently, with wiser boundaries
- letting yourself speak without rehearsing every sentence
- letting yourself feel without shaming your emotions
- letting yourself want more without calling yourself “greedy” or “unrealistic”
- letting yourself be soft in a world that taught you to be hard
Maybe you don’t need to “improve” yourself. Maybe you just need to come back to yourself.
🧬 How Self-Abandonment Shows Up in Your Adult Life
Self-abandonment is sneaky. It sounds like:
- “It’s not that big a deal.” (when it is)
- “I’m probably overreacting.” (when you’re underreacting to old pain)
- “I don’t want to be dramatic.” (when you’re actually hurt)
- “They didn’t mean it.” (when they absolutely did)
- “I should be grateful I even have this.” (when you deserve more than scraps)
It looks like:
- settling for relationships you’ve outgrown
- laughing at jokes that hurt you
- praising people who constantly disappoint you
- making yourself small in rooms you were born to fill
- calling burnout “just being busy”
- calling anxiety “just how I am”
You think you’re “being realistic”.
Most of the time, you’re just keeping the abandoned version of you buried.
🌈 The Reunion You’ve Been Waiting For
One day, healing doesn’t look like:
- reading one more self-help book
- fixing one more habit
- adding one more routine
It looks like:
- you, sitting quietly, remembering who you were before life hardened you
- you, seeing that younger version of you in your mind
- you, realising you left them behind to survive
- you, feeling the grief of that
- you, saying to them: “I’m so sorry. I thought you were the problem. You weren’t. You were the real me.”
Healing begins the moment you whisper:
“I’m sorry I abandoned you. I won’t leave you again.”
That is the reunion. That is the homecoming. That is the moment your nervous system starts to unclench.
🧡 How to Gently Bring That Version of You Back
You don’t have to do this all at once. You don’t have to blow your life up. You can invite them back in tiny ways:
- wear something they would have loved
- listen to music they used to play on repeat
- say the thing they would have said if they weren’t scared
- create something (write, draw, dance, build, cook) just for the joy of it
- let yourself rest when your body begs for it
- stop explaining your “too much” and start honouring it
You meet them in small daily choices where you choose:
- truth over performance
- rest over punishment
- self-respect over people-pleasing
- your inner peace over their opinion
Every time you choose you, that abandoned version of you takes one step closer back home.
👑 The Line Your Whole Body Has Been Waiting to Hear
If you remember nothing else from this post, remember this:
The version of you that you abandoned is the version who’s been waiting to come home.
They were never unlovable. They were just unprotected.
They were never “too much”. They were just too honest for people still lying to themselves.
They were never the problem. They were the truth.
And now?
You are the adult who can finally protect, honour, and love them in the way they always needed.
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