Remember the Fun You Had… Before Idiots Turned Up in Your Life (Yes, Including Family)
Remember the Fun You Had… Before Idiots Turned Up in Your Life (Yes, Including Family)
By Vikki
Remember when life was actually… fun?
Before the drama. Before the guilt trips. Before the narcissists, the emotional toddlers in adult bodies, the walking red flags, and the family members who treat you like unpaid therapy with legs.
You used to laugh more. Sleep better. Breathe easier. Then idiots turned up. And yes, I am absolutely including family in that category.
Important: If you grew up around chaos, it can feel “normal” to be drained, overwhelmed and constantly on edge. That doesn’t mean it’s healthy. It just means you’re overdue a refund on your childhood.
This isn’t a gentle post. This is a “holy shit, that’s my life” post. Let’s talk about how your joy got hijacked — and how you get it back.
Once Upon a Time, You Were Actually Happy
Before people projected their unhealed crap onto you, you were just a kid with:
- a basic nervous system
- a decent amount of joy
- no idea what “people-pleasing” even meant
Then the idiots arrived.
Idiot Category #1: The Family That Calls It “Love”
The ones who teach you:
- love = walking on eggshells
- affection = occasional crumbs if you behave
- “jokes” = insults you’re not allowed to react to
You weren’t born anxious. You were trained into it.
Idiot Category #2: The Romantic Disasters
The walking trauma bonding experience. The ones who:
- call you crazy while doing insane shit
- drain your bank account, energy, and self-respect
- make your life feel like a full-time emotional admin job
Suddenly, the fun you used to have is replaced by “just trying to survive this relationship without losing the last 2 brain cells I have left.”
Idiot Category #3: Coworkers, Bosses & Random Humans
The ones who think boundaries are a suggestion, not a requirement. The ones who say things like:
- “Have you tried not being stressed?”
- “You seemed fine yesterday.”
- “Can you do it quickly? It’s only a small thing.” (It’s never a small thing.)
By this point, your nervous system is one group chat away from packing a bag and leaving your body entirely.
Signs Idiots Have Stolen Your Fun
Let’s see how many of these you recognise:
1. You Need 3 Business Days to Recover From Socialising
One family gathering = three days of emotional hangover. You come home and just stare at a wall like Windows 95 trying to reboot.
2. You Rehearse Conversations in Your Head
Because you already know who’s going to gaslight you, guilt-trip you or pretend they “don’t remember it like that.” Spoiler: they remember. They’re just allergic to accountability.
3. You Feel Guilty for Doing Anything Fun
If you’re relaxing, a little voice whispers: “You should be doing more.” That voice did not come from you. It came from years of being told your needs are “too much” and your rest is “selfish.”
4. You’re Always On Edge Before Seeing Certain People
Heart racing. Stomach knotting. Fake smile already loading. That’s not “normal family tension.” That’s your nervous system screaming, “We don’t feel safe here.”
5. You Can’t Remember the Last Time You Felt Pure, Uncomplicated Joy
No drama, no guilt, no being on high alert. Just joy. If that feels like a distant memory, we have a problem.
Plot Twist: You’re Not the Problem
Read this slowly:
You were not born to be everybody’s emotional sponge, punching bag, or unpaid life coach.
Your “mood issues” might just be idiot exposure.
Your “burnout” might just be years of being drained.
Your “overreaction” might just be a normal reaction to abnormal behaviour.
Reminder: If you grew up in dysfunction, chaos feels familiar. Calm can feel weird at first. That's okay. Keep choosing calm anyway.
How to Start Getting Your Fun (and Sanity) Back
We can’t erase the idiots. But we can absolutely reduce their access to your life, energy and frontal lobe.
1. Audit Your Energy Vampires
Make a quick list:
- Who leaves you feeling lighter?
- Who leaves you feeling like you’ve done 14 rounds in an emotional boxing ring?
Now you know where the leak is.
2. Introduce the Magic Word: “No”
No is a full sentence, not a negotiation.
- “No, I can’t take that on.”
- “No, I’m not discussing this again.”
- “No, I won’t be coming.”
The first time you say it, you’ll shake. The third time, you’ll feel powerful. The tenth time, you’ll wonder why you didn’t start sooner.
3. Stop Explaining Yourself to People Who Don’t Listen
If someone has shown you repeatedly that they don’t respect your boundaries, your feelings, or your reality, you do not owe them another 3-hour TED Talk.
Save the explanations for people who are actually capable of hearing you.
4. Take “Space From People” Days
Not because you hate everyone (even if you do a little). But because your nervous system needs time without noise, demands, or emotional tap-dancing.
- phone on do not disturb
- no visits, no calls, no drama
- just you, rest, and something that makes you feel human again
5. Re-Introduce Things You Enjoyed Before the Chaos
Think back:
- What did you love doing as a kid?
- What hobbies or interests did you drop because of relationships, family, or stress?
Reading, drawing, dancing in the kitchen, long baths, writing, music, walking, gaming, being silly for no reason…
Start small. Ten minutes of something just for you is revolutionary when you’re used to living in service mode.
Reclaiming Your Inner Goblin of Joy
Your fun, loud, ridiculous, joyful self is not gone. They’re just buried under:
- years of survival mode
- family conditioning
- relationship damage
- other people’s expectations
You are allowed to:
- relax without earning it
- do nothing and enjoy it
- laugh at stupid shit again
- choose peace over pleasing
- build a life that feels safe, not just “impressive”
The idiots may still exist. But they no longer get front-row seats to your life.
Your turn: Who stole your peace first — family, exes, or coworkers?
Comment below and tell me your vote đŸ‘‡ (no names, just vibes).
And if you’re in your “I’m taking my fun back” era, type: “I choose peace.”
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