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Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident

Attachment Weaponisation: The Bond Was Never an Accident I never noticed the closeness being built. I just assumed it was love, and assumed what I owed because of it, without either of us ever saying it out loud. Short version: Trauma bonding is usually described as something that happens to you, almost by accident, through unpredictable reward. A 2025 Cambridge study, interviewing eighteen women with sustained attachment to abusive partners, found something sharper underneath that: the closeness itself is often deliberately constructed early on, specifically so it can be exploited later. Researchers call this attachment weaponisation. The unsettling part is that it isn't always obvious while it's happening. It can feel completely organic, right up until you realise how much invisible obligation got built into it along the way. What is attachment weaponisation? A 2025 study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge, published in the journal Violence Aga...

The Happiness Formula

 Most people chase more (more money, more stuff, more status), thinking that will bring happiness. But in reality, happiness often comes from subtraction, not addition.


  • Minimalism: When you strip away clutter, distractions, and obligations, you create more space for joy.
  • Stoicism: Ancient Stoics taught that unhappiness comes from attachment to things outside your control. Removing those attachments = peace.
  • Modern psychology: Negative emotions weigh more heavily on our wellbeing than positive ones. Taking away sources of stress, toxic people, or bad habits has a bigger impact than adding “happy” things.
  • Everyday life: If you stop doing the things that drain you (pointless scrolling, saying yes when you mean no, toxic relationships, alcohol if it makes you feel worse), what’s left feels lighter, calmer, and more satisfying.



So - happiness often isn’t about “adding” anything. It’s about removing what doesn’t serve you so what’s left is naturally good.


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