Anxiety: My Brain’s Least Helpful Employee
Anxiety is not my intuition.
It is not wisdom.
It is not foresight.
It is an overcaffeinated intern who read one bad article in 2009 and never shut up again.
Anxiety Thinks Everything Is an Emergency
Dropped your phone?
Anxiety:
“This is how it starts.”
Someone didn’t reply?
Anxiety:
“They hate you. Also, everyone else does too. Let’s review your entire life.”
Feeling calm?
Anxiety:
“Why are we calm. Something is wrong.”
Anxiety Loves a Hypothetical
Anxiety does not deal in facts.
Anxiety deals in what ifs.
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What if they’re mad
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What if I said something weird
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What if that one thing I did in 2014 comes back legally
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What if everyone secretly meets without me
Anxiety has no evidence, just confidence.
Anxiety Has Meetings at the Worst Times
Trying to sleep?
Anxiety:
“Perfect. Let’s replay every embarrassing moment since birth.”
Trying to relax?
Anxiety:
“Great time to imagine 47 worst-case scenarios.”
Trying to enjoy joy?
Anxiety:
“Careful. Don’t get used to this.”
Anxiety Thinks You’re in Danger (You’re Just Alive)
Anxiety:
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Mistakes excitement for threat
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Mistakes silence for rejection
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Mistakes peace for suspicious behavior
It is deeply uncomfortable with you not panicking.
The Plot Twist: Anxiety Is Very Bad at Its Job
If anxiety were correct:
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You would be dead by now
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Everyone would hate you
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Every thought would be a prophecy
Yet here you are.
Alive.
Mostly fine.
Still standing.
Interesting.
How I Deal With Anxiety Now
I don’t argue with it.
I don’t obey it.
I say:
“Thanks for the input. I’m not taking advice from panic.”
Then I:
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Breathe
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Laugh
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Redirect my attention
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Live anyway
Anxiety hates being ignored.
Final Truth
Anxiety is loud.
Peace is quiet.
The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety.
The goal is to stop letting it run the meeting.
And honestly?
The moment you stop taking it seriously,
it gets very embarrassed and leaves.
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