When Christmas Triggers Your Childhood Sh*t (How To Stay Sane This Year) 🎄🧠

By Vikki – How To Feel Fucking Amazing

Let’s be honest: some people hear “Christmas” and think cosy jumpers, hot chocolate and twinkly lights.

Others hear “Christmas” and feel a deep sense of dread in their bones like:

“Oh good, it’s that time of year where my nervous system replays all my childhood trauma in 4K.”

If you feel weird, anxious, on edge or emotionally flooded around Christmas, you’re not dramatic—you’re triggered.

Why Christmas wakes up your inner child

Christmas is loaded with:

• childhood memories
• family roles and expectations
• unspoken rules (“we ALWAYS do it this way”)
• old emotional dynamics

If you grew up with chaos, neglect, criticism, narcissistic parents or emotional inconsistency, your body remembers—even if your brain tries to shrug it off.

You’re not just visiting family. Your nervous system is re-entering the original crime scene.

Why you suddenly feel “like a kid again”

Ever noticed how you can feel like a functioning adult 11 months of the year, then go home for Christmas and suddenly:

• your voice changes
• you feel smaller
• you’re scared to speak up
• you’re hyper-aware of everyone’s mood

That’s not immaturity. That’s your survival system switching back to the settings it used to need around these people.

Your body is like, “Ah yes, this place. We stay quiet here so we don’t get hurt.”

Signs Christmas is triggering old wounds

You might notice:

• random anxiety before family events
• huge guilt about saying no to plans
• anger or resentment you can’t quite explain
• feeling responsible for everyone’s mood
• feeling “wrong”, “too much”, or “never enough”
• massive exhaustion after doing the bare minimum socially

This isn’t you being weak—this is your body reacting to past emotional patterns.

You’re allowed to protect your peace now

Your childhood self didn’t have options. You do.

As an adult, you’re allowed to:

• leave early
• not go at all
• book a hotel instead of staying over
• say “I’m not discussing that”
• change the subject
• refuse to be the emotional punching bag

“But it’s Christmas” is not a free pass for people to disrespect you.

Mini survival plan for a triggering Christmas

1. Lower the bar

Stop aiming for “perfect, healed, serene festive goddess”. Aim for: “I didn’t abandon myself this year.”

2. Have a grounding strategy

Before and after family contact, try:

• deep breathing in the bathroom
• going for a quick walk
• texting a safe friend
• listening to a soothing playlist

3. Give yourself permission to leave

You don’t need a dramatic reason. “I’m heading off now, I’m tired” is enough.

4. Plan a “recovery day”

The day after, do nothing social. Pyjamas. Snacks. Silence. Let your nervous system come down from the emotional rollercoaster.

If you’re a parent breaking the cycle

Maybe you’re a single parent or just someone determined not to repeat the same emotional damage.

You’re carrying double weight:

• healing your own childhood wounds
• giving your kids a softer experience than you had

That’s exhausting—and heroic.

Your kids don’t need the perfect Christmas. They just need a safer one than you got.

You’re not “difficult” for needing boundaries

People who benefited from your silence will always think your boundaries are “overreacting”.

That doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It means they were comfortable with you hurting.

Before you go…

If Christmas brings up old pain, please know this:

• You are not broken.
• Your reactions make sense.
• Your body is trying to protect you.
• You’re allowed to choose peace over performance.

This year, you don’t have to be the brave little child holding it all together.

You get to be the adult who chooses themselves.