What Real Love Looks Like in Real Life (Not the Fake Version)
By Vikki • Relationships • Healing • Self-Worth
Why Fake Love Is So Easy to Mistake for the Real Thing
A lot of people think they want love, when what they’ve actually learned to tolerate is intensity, attention, or chaos dressed up as connection.
Fake love tends to arrive loudly. Real love usually arrives quietly.
If love feels like anxiety, confusion, or self-abandonment,
it’s not love — it’s a nervous system pattern.
What Fake Love Often Looks Like
Fake love isn’t always malicious. Sometimes it’s just two unhealed people acting out familiar roles.
- grand gestures with no consistency
- intensity instead of intimacy
- hot-and-cold behaviour
- love that must be earned
- being wanted, but not respected
- chemistry without safety
Fake love feels exciting at first — and exhausting over time.
Real Love Is Much Less Dramatic
This is the part that surprises people. Real love doesn’t feel like a rollercoaster.
It feels steady. Predictable. Sometimes even boring — especially if you’re used to chaos.
Real love doesn’t hijack your nervous system.
It settles it.
What Real Love Actually Looks Like Day to Day
- consistency, not intensity
- kindness without conditions
- repair after conflict
- emotional availability
- mutual effort
- space to be yourself
- feeling safe to say no
Real love doesn’t require you to perform, chase, or prove your worth.
Why Real Love Can Feel “Wrong” at First
If you grew up without stable love, real love may feel unfamiliar. Your body might mistake calm for lack of chemistry.
This doesn’t mean something is missing. It means your system is learning a new baseline.
Peace can feel boring until your body realises it’s safe.
The Simplest Test for Real Love
When you’re unsure whether something is real or fake, ask yourself this:
Do I feel more like myself — or less — in this connection?
Real love expands you. Fake love consumes you.
Choosing Real Love Starts With You
You don’t attract real love by being perfect. You attract it by being grounded, self-respecting, and emotionally honest.
When you stop tolerating fake love, real love has space to find you — in friendships, partnerships, and in how you treat yourself.
Real love feels safe.
That’s how you know it’s real.
Keywords (for labels): real love, fake love, healthy relationships, what love looks like, emotional safety, healing relationships, attachment healing, self worth, boundaries, calm love, personal growth, Vikki, How to Feel Fucking Amazing
Comments
Post a Comment