My Mum Hates Me, Always Puts Me Down and Hasn’t Got One Nice Word to Say to Me — I’ve Had Enough
My Mum Hates Me, Always Puts Me Down and Hasn’t Got One Nice Word to Say to Me — I’ve Had Enough
I never thought I’d write this. But pretending it doesn’t hurt hasn’t made it hurt less.
My mum hates me. Or at least, that’s how it feels when every interaction is criticism, contempt, or silence. No warmth. No encouragement. Not one genuinely kind word.
And I’ve had enough.
This Is Not “Tough Love”
Let’s clear something up straight away.
Being constantly put down is not parenting. It’s not honesty. It’s not motivation. And it’s not love.
When a parent repeatedly:
- Belittles you
- Mocks your choices
- Dismisses your feelings
- Withholds kindness
- Turns every conversation into criticism
That is emotionally damaging behaviour. Full stop.
The Silent Damage No One Talks About
When the person who is supposed to protect you becomes the person who hurts you, it does something deep.
It makes you question your worth.
It trains you to expect rejection.
It teaches your nervous system to stay on edge.
And the worst part?
You often blame yourself.
You think: If I were better, kinder, quieter, more successful, more grateful — maybe then she’d love me.
But the truth is uncomfortable and freeing:
You cannot earn love from someone who chooses cruelty.
Why I’ve Stopped Asking “Why”
I used to search for reasons.
Was I unwanted?
Was there something wrong with me?
Did I remind her of something she hated?
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Understanding why someone hurts you does not stop the hurt.
And it does not make it acceptable.
At some point, self-respect has to matter more than answers.
When “I Can’t Take This Anymore” Is a Signal
Saying “I can’t bear it anymore” is not weakness.
It’s your system saying: This is harming me.
That moment matters.
Because staying in a dynamic that slowly destroys you — just because it’s family — is not strength. It’s self-abandonment.
What I’m Choosing Now
I’m choosing peace over permission.
I’m choosing boundaries over guilt.
I’m choosing to stop trying to extract kindness from someone who has shown me, repeatedly, that they do not want to give it.
This doesn’t mean hate.
It means I’m done offering myself up to be diminished.
If This Is You Too
If you’re reading this and quietly nodding, please hear this:
You are not too sensitive.
You are not imagining it.
And you are not unlovable.
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is stop standing in the line of fire.
You are allowed to step back.
You are allowed to protect your heart.
You are allowed to choose yourself.
Even if the person hurting you is your mother.
If this helped you feel less alone, keep it. Share it with someone who needs to know they’re not broken — they’re just done being hurt.
Labels: emotional abuse, toxic parents, mother wounds, self-worth, boundaries, healing, family trauma, personal growth
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