Maybe I’m Not Lazy… Maybe I’m Just Done With Everyone

By Vikki

Everyone loves to call themselves “lazy” these days. Lazy, unmotivated, can’t be bothered, zero discipline, blah blah blah.

But what if you’re not actually lazy at all?

What if you’re just emotionally done with:

• being needed 24/7
• fixing everyone else’s mess
• people’s moods, drama, and expectations
• constant hustle and productivity pressure
• pretending you’re fine while your brain is screaming

Reality check: There’s a huge difference between being “lazy” and being burnt out, overstimulated, and completely drained by humans.

Maybe you don’t lack motivation. Maybe you lack space, respect, and quiet.

We Need To Talk About “People-Induced Burnout”

Burnout isn’t always caused by work. Sometimes it’s caused by:

• toxic family
• narcissistic partners
• needy friends
• emotionally unstable coworkers
• always being the strong one

If your phone, your front door, your WhatsApp, and your email constantly deliver other people’s problems to your nervous system… of course you feel “lazy.”

You’re not lazy. You’re living in emotional survival mode with eight browser tabs open in your brain at all times.

Signs You’re Not Lazy – You’re Just Done With People

1. You Can Work Hard… Just Not For Everyone Else Anymore

You’ll happily binge-clean your house, deep-dive a project you love, or spend hours researching something that interests you.

But the second someone says, “Can you just do me a quick favour?” your soul leaves your body.

2. You’re Exhausted Before Plans Even Start

You’re tired not from what you’re doing, but from mentally preparing to:

• mask your true feelings
• manage other people’s expectations
• perform social energy you don’t have

That’s not laziness. That’s anticipatory burnout.

3. You Avoid Messages Because Your Brain Associates Them With Drama

You’re not ignoring people because you don’t care. You’re ignoring people because historically, their messages come with:

• requests
• demands
• guilt trips
• crisis dumping

Your nervous system is trying to protect you from being emotionally hijacked again.

4. You Do “Nothing” But Still Feel Drained

On paper you haven’t done much. In your mind you’ve:

• replayed five conversations
• imagined three worst-case scenarios
• planned everyone’s reactions in advance
• carried silent resentment and unspoken boundaries

That level of emotional admin would drain anyone.

Maybe You’re Not Unmotivated – You’re Unavailable

Let’s flip the narrative:

• “I’m lazy” → “I’m tired of doing things that drain me.”
• “I can’t be bothered” → “I refuse to overextend anymore.”
• “I’m unmotivated” → “I’m not motivated by obligation and guilt.”

You’re not a machine. You’re not a service. You’re not a 24/7 emotional support line. You’re a human who has been overused and under-supported for too long.

Of course you’re done. It’s not a flaw, it’s a boundary forming.

Questions That Change Everything

Instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?”, try:

• Who or what is draining me the most right now?
• Where am I saying yes when I want to say no?
• Who treats my energy as unlimited?
• What would I actually have energy for, if I wasn’t constantly managing other people?

That’s where your answer is. Not in “working harder,” but in cutting energy leaks.

Practical Ways To Be “Done” Without Burning Your Life Down

1. Reduce Access, Not Love

You can still love people and give them less access to you.

• reply slower
• don’t pick up every call
• stop engaging in the same draining conversations
• leave group chats that make your soul itch

2. Start Saying “No” Earlier

Instead of agreeing and secretly hoping plans get cancelled, try:

• “No, I don’t have capacity for that.”
• “I won’t be taking anything else on right now.”
• “Thank you for asking, but I’ll pass.”

3. Give Yourself Permission To Do the Bare Minimum

Not forever, but for right now while you recover.

• bare minimum housework
• bare minimum socialising
• bare minimum interaction with chaos

This isn’t “failing at life.” This is healing in progress.

4. Put Your Energy Where It Actually Feels Good

Notice what quietly lights you up:

• your own projects or ideas
• learning something new
• making your space calmer
• small routines that make you feel human again

Often, “laziness” vanishes when your energy finally belongs to you, instead of being spread across 15 other people’s lives.

You’re Allowed To Be Done

You’re allowed to be done with:

• over-explaining yourself
• being the responsible one
• chasing people who don’t reciprocate
• being emotionally available to everyone except you
• living in permanent “support mode”

Done doesn’t mean bitter. Done means no longer available for your own destruction.

Maybe the most powerful thing you’ll ever say is: “I’m not lazy. I’m finally choosing me.”

Your turn: Be brutally honest — what (or who) drains you the most?

Drop it in the comments (no names, just roles: “family”, “ex”, “boss”, “group chat” etc).
And if you’re entering your “I’m not lazy, I’m done” era, type: “My energy is mine now.”

Disclaimer: This post is for validation, humour and reflection, not medical advice. If you feel persistently numb, depressed, or unable to function, please reach out to a mental health professional. You deserve proper support, not just survival mode and sarcasm.