Love Is Not Free

By Vikki • Relationships • Self-Worth • Healing

The Hidden Cost of Loving the Wrong People

“Love is free” sounds sweet and hopeful — but if you’ve spent years over-giving, over-functioning, or trying to earn someone’s basic kindness, you already know the truth: love might be priceless, but it’s not always free.

Love isn’t free when you’re the one doing all the emotional labour.
It’s just unpaid.

What “Love Costs” When You’re Over-Giving

Unhealthy love rarely asks for money upfront. It asks for little pieces of you — often so gradually you don’t notice until you feel exhausted, anxious, and weirdly smaller than you used to be.

• Your time (and the constant “being available” pressure)
• Your nervous system (walking on eggshells, overthinking, hypervigilance)
• Your confidence (doubting yourself, minimising your needs)
• Your peace (drama cycles, tension, emotional hangovers)
• Your finances (stress spending, rescuing, fixing, covering, coping)

Healthy Love Still Takes Effort — Just Not Your Identity

This is the key distinction. Healthy relationships require effort, communication, and care — but they don’t require you to disappear.

Healthy love costs:

• honesty
• boundaries
• repair after conflict
• mutual effort

Unhealthy love costs:

• your self-respect
• your stability
• your sleep
• your joy
• your future

Healthy love adds value. It doesn’t quietly invoice you for existing.

A Simple Question That Changes Everything

If you want one tiny shift that can save you years of pain, here it is:

“What is this costing me — and is it worth it?”

That question isn’t cold. It’s self-respect. And it’s how you stop paying for love with your health, your money, and your peace.

Save this for you — especially if you overgive.

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Keywords (for labels): love is not free, emotional labour, self worth, boundaries, unhealthy relationships, overgiving, people pleasing, healing, relationship advice, personal growth, Vikki, How to Feel Fucking Amazing