How to Speak So That People Want to Listen — Summary & Key Lessons
Communication isn’t just about what you say — it’s about how and why you say it. In one of the most‑viewed TED Talks of all time, Julian Treasure explains how to communicate in ways that deepen connection, build trust, and actually make people want to listen. TED-Ed+1
1. The “Seven Deadly Sins” of Speaking
Treasure highlights seven common communication habits that push people away and make conversations less effective: howyousayit.co.uk
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Gossip — Talking about others behind their back
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Judging — Constant criticism or evaluation
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Negativity — Persistent pessimism or complaining
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Complaining itself — A repeated drain on energy
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Excuses — Avoiding responsibility
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Exaggeration — Stretching the truth or over‑embellishing
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Dogmatism — Treating opinion as fact
Avoiding these habits creates space for genuine, receptive conversations.
2. The HAIL Framework for Powerful Communication
Treasure offers a simple, memorable framework — HAIL — as the foundation for speech people want to hear: forbes.com
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Honesty — Speak truthfully and clearly
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Authenticity — Be yourself; don’t wear a mask
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Integrity — Do what you say you will do
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Love — Wish others well and communicate with goodwill
When your communication is built on these elements, people are naturally more open and engaged.
3. Your Vocal “Toolbox”
It’s not just what you say — it’s how you say it. Treasure explains that your voice has tools you can consciously use to increase impact: howyousayit.co.uk
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Register — Speaking from a grounded, confident place
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Timbre — The richness or warmth of your tone
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Prosody — Melody or variation in your delivery
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Pace — When to slow down or pause for emphasis
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Pitch — How high or low your voice goes
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Volume — Using quiet and loud strategically
Even small shifts in how we use these tools can make listeners more engaged and receptive.
4. Practice Conscious Communication
Treasure also encourages warming up your voice (like athletes warm up their muscles) and practising mindful speaking — knowing not just what you want to say, but how you want it to land. briefread.com
Why This Matters
Whether you’re talking to a friend, presenting in a meeting, or trying to resolve conflict, effective communication affects every part of life — relationships, leadership, happiness, and love. Treasure’s frameworks and tools make these skills practical and attainable.
Keywords:
effective communication, Julian Treasure TED, how to speak so people listen, HAIL framework Honesty Authenticity Integrity Love, seven deadly sins speaking, vocal communication tips, active listening, connection skills, relationship communication
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