Emotionally Out of Office
Emotionally Out of Office
By Vikki
My favourite new personality trait is this: I am emotionally out of office.
I’m here physically. I’m nodding. I might even be replying to your messages. But emotionally? Absolutely not. I have logged off. I have closed all tabs. My heart has put its out-of-office reply on.
FYI: You’re allowed to take emotional breaks, even when you’re still technically “functioning.” You don’t have to be emotionally available just because someone wants access.
What “Emotionally Out of Office” Actually Means
It doesn’t mean you’re cold, heartless or uncaring. It means:
- you’re tired of being the emotional sponge for everyone
- you’re not taking on new drama at this time
- you’re done forcing feelings you don’t have the capacity for
- you’re choosing rest over reaction
I’m not ignoring you. I’m ignoring emotional labour that I didn’t sign up for.
Signs You Are Emotionally Out of Office
1. You Read Messages and Feel… Nothing
Not excitement. Not anger. Not even anxiety. Just a quiet, monotonous “I cannot deal with this right now.”
2. Your Default Answer is “I Don’t Have the Energy for This”
Even if you don’t say it out loud, your inner voice is screaming it.
3. You’re Nodding in Conversations But Not Absorbing Anything
You’re physically present. Your soul, however, is on a beach somewhere with no signal.
4. You Feel Relief When Plans Are Cancelled
“Sorry, can we reschedule?” You: “Oh no, what a shame…” *internal fireworks*
Why You Needed to Emotionally Log Off
Chances are, you didn’t just randomly become detached one morning. You probably spent years:
- over-caring about everyone else’s feelings
- over-explaining yourself
- over-apologising
- over-thinking every interaction
- over-giving while getting crumbs back
At some point, your mind and body go: “No more.”
Emotional out-of-office is often what happens when your heart has been on call for too long.
Your New Auto-Reply (Emotionally)
If your feelings could send automatic emails, they’d say things like:
- “Thank you for your message. I am currently unavailable for emotional chaos.”
- “Your request has been received and will not be processed.”
- “Due to recent upgrades in my self-respect, I will not be engaging further.”
- “This heart is currently on maintenance mode. Please try again never.”
How to Stay Emotionally Out of Office (Without Feeling Guilty)
1. Protect Your Time and Energy
Before saying yes to a call, reply, visit or favour, ask: “Do I actually have the capacity for this?”
If the answer is no:
- “I’m not available for that.”
- “I don’t have the capacity right now.”
- “I need some time to myself today.”
2. Stop Being the Default Therapist
You are not 24/7 emotional tech support.
It’s okay to say:
- “I care about you, but I don’t have the emotional space for this conversation today.”
- “Can we talk about something lighter?”
- “I’m not in the right headspace for deep chats right now.”
3. Choose Who Gets Your Emotional Availability
Not everyone deserves front-row seats to your inner world. Save your energy for:
- people who listen when you speak
- people who support you back
- people who respect your “I can’t today”
Emotional Rest Is Still Rest
We talk a lot about physical rest – sleep, naps, days off. But emotional rest is just as important.
Emotional rest looks like:
- not taking everything personally
- letting people be wrong about you
- not engaging in every conflict
- choosing silence instead of defending yourself again
- letting messages sit unread until you feel ready
You’re allowed to leave some messages on “seen” and some people on “God will deal with you.”
Your turn: If you could set an emotional out-of-office message right now, what would it say?
Comment with a one-liner like: “Currently unavailable for nonsense.” 😌
Comments
Post a Comment