You Can’t Be Happy Around a Narcissist — JOY BREAKER ALERT!!!
You Can’t Be Happy Around a Narcissist — JOY BREAKER ALERT!!!
By Vikki • Updated 18 November 2025
If you grew up with a narcissistic mother, you already know the truth: you’re not allowed to be happy around her.
Your joy? She crushes it. Your excitement? She dismisses it. Your wins? She ruins them. Your confidence? She chips away at it until you shrink again.
And it’s not an accident. Narcissists hate happiness — especially their daughters’ happiness.
Why Narcissistic Mothers Hate Your Happiness
1. Your joy highlights their emptiness
Narcissists don’t feel genuine happiness. So when you feel it, it reminds them of what they lack.
2. Happiness makes you harder to control
A joyful daughter is confident. And a confident daughter is dangerous — because she’s harder to manipulate.
3. Your joy threatens their power
If you start thriving, you might realise:
you never needed her.
4. Happiness makes you visible
Narcissistic mothers want you small, quiet, and dim — never brighter than them.
How Narcissistic Mothers Break Your Joy
1. Mocking anything that excites you
“That’s stupid… Why would you like that?”
2. Ruining your accomplishments
She finds flaws, minimises your success, or makes it about her.
3. Competing with you
If you’re happy, she has to one-up it — or tear you down.
4. Starting drama when you’re doing well
Narcissists love to storm in with chaos when you’re finally feeling good.
5. Calling you “selfish” for having a life
Joy = independence. Independence = threat.
6. Taking credit for your achievements
Because she can’t stand you shining on your own.
How This Affects Daughters in Adulthood
1. You feel guilty for being happy
Happiness feels like betrayal because she trained you to dim yourself.
2. You expect punishment for joy
Your nervous system stays on alert, waiting for the crash.
3. You sabotage yourself
Because joy never felt safe growing up.
4. You downplay your successes
You learned early that shining attracts attack.
5. You hide your happiness from others
Because you were taught it's “too much.”
How to Reclaim Your Joy (And Protect It)
1. Stop telling her anything good
Your joy is sacred — she is not.
2. Build a joy-safe circle
People who celebrate you, not compete with you.
3. Let happiness feel uncomfortable at first
Your body is unlearning emotional abuse.
4. Practice “joy without permission”
You don’t need approval to feel alive.
5. Cut off access to your emotional life
She doesn’t get front-row seats to your healing.
Healing Steps For Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
1. Stop expecting her to ever be happy for you
Letting go of that hope will set you free.
2. Validate your inner child
Your joy was stolen — now it’s yours again.
3. Build a life that reflects who YOU are
Not who she needed you to be.
4. Protect your peace aggressively
Joy is a boundary.
Your Next Step
You were never “too much.” She was simply not enough. Your joy is your rebellion — and your healing.
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