Nobody Told You They Hated Your Narcissistic Mother (And Why Saying “I Hate My Mother” Isn’t Scary)
Why Nobody Told You They Hated Your Narcissistic Mother
And Why Saying “I Hate My Mother” Isn’t Scary
If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, this is the missing truth that helps your nervous system finally unclench.
By | HowToFeelAFuckingAmazing.com
If you were raised by a narcissistic mother, you’ve probably had moments where you thought:
- “Why does everyone else seem fine with her?”
- “Is it just me she treats like this?”
- “Why did nobody ever tell me they hated her too?”
Here’s the hard, healing truth: People did dislike your narcissistic mother. They just never told you.
Not because you imagined anything. Not because you were “too sensitive.” And definitely not because it was your fault. The silence around narcissistic mothers is common — and it’s engineered by fear, taboo, and manipulation.
1. People Were Scared of Her — and Scared for You
Narcissists don’t handle confrontation like normal humans. They rage, retaliate, smear, punish, and play victim. People knew that if they told you the truth, she might:
- explode at them
- twist their words into a drama
- take it out on you
Their silence wasn’t approval — it was survival.
2. People Assume Kids Will Defend Their Parents
Even when a parent is abusive, many children are trauma-bonded and loyal because that’s how kids survive. People avoid saying “your mum is toxic” because they fear you’ll:
- defend her automatically
- feel ashamed or guilty
- get punished later
3. Narcissists Perform Niceness in Public
The narcissist the outside world sees is a costume: charming, helpful, funny, “strong,” and perfect in public. People sense something off, but the mask makes them doubt themselves.
4. Society Worships Mothers, Even Abusive Ones
We’re fed toxic myths like “you only get one mum” and “she loves you really.” That cultural brainwashing silences honesty. Criticising a mother is treated like blasphemy, even when she’s harming her child.
5. Most People Didn’t Feel It Was Their Place
Saying “your mother is abusive” is heavy, personal, and intimate. Unless someone is very close to you, they fear it’ll feel cruel.
6. You Looked Strong — So People Thought You Already Knew
Survivors often come across as competent and resilient because they had to be. People assume you already clocked the truth, because you were functioning. But surviving isn’t the same as understanding.
7. Narcissists Isolate Their Children on Purpose
Narcissists keep their kids in a bubble where no one says the truth. They engineer silence to keep control.
You deserved to hear this as a child:
“It’s not just you. People can’t stand her. You’re not the problem.”
So… If You Say “I Hate My Mother,” Will People Be Scared of You?
No. Saying “I hate my mother” doesn’t make healthy people scared of you. It makes them less scared of the topic.
1. People Aren’t Scared of You — They’re Scared of the Taboo
Talking about abusive parents makes most people freeze because it’s culturally forbidden.
2. When You Say It First, You Set People Free
Once you name it out loud, people relax. You’ve just handed them a permission slip to be honest.
3. Your Truth Removes Shame
When you speak clearly about what happened, you stop carrying her behaviour like it was yours. Truth creates connection — not fear.
4. The Right People Respect You More
Healthy people don’t judge honesty — they respect it. Only toxic people get uncomfortable with your truth.
What This Means for Your Healing
If nobody told you they hated your narcissistic mother, that silence was never proof she was fine. It was proof she was dangerous.
- You weren’t imagining it.
- You weren’t too sensitive.
- You weren’t the problem.
- You were a child surviving an emotional war zone.
And now you get to live in reality, not her story.
You’re allowed to say the truth out loud. You’re allowed to hate what she did. You’re allowed to heal without explaining yourself.
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