Why You Feel “Stir-Crazy” When You Realise It’s A Narcissist

Understanding the moment of clarity — and how to stabilise your reality. Based on Dr. George K. Simon’s research.

There comes a moment when everything clicks: you’ve finally seen through the charming exterior, the “nice guy” mask, the plausible explanations. You realise the person isn’t what they seemed. And instead of relief, you feel agitated, unsettled — almost “stir-crazy”.

That reaction isn’t random. According to Dr. Simon, manipulative characters use subtle tactics designed to leave you off-balance: making you doubt your perceptions, back down, explain yourself, question your judgment. [oai_citation:0‡Character Matters](https://www.drgeorgesimon.com/throwing-you-on-the-defensive-the-art-of-covert-aggression/?utm_source=chatgpt.com)

Watch this video: Dr. Simon on manipulators in action

In this talk, Dr. Simon outlines how manipulative personalities operate: using charm, plausible deniability, guilt-trips, shifting blame, denying their actions. The goal isn’t confrontation; the goal is control. [oai_citation:1‡Character Matters](https://www.drgeorgesimon.com/how-covert-narcissists-and-aggressors-manipulate/?utm_source=chatgpt.com)

Why you feel unsettled after you wake up

• Your world shifts. What seemed safe now feels unpredictable. You trusted someone who was unreliable.
• Your thoughts catch up later. While you recognised something, your nervous system is still processing the betrayal.
• The manipulator’s tactics rewind. Silence, denial, minimising — leaving you feeling confused and off-balance. [oai_citation:2‡Character Matters](https://www.drgeorgesimon.com/throwing-you-on-the-defensive-the-art-of-covert-aggression/?utm_source=chatgpt.com)

What to do now

Here are grounded steps based on Simon’s work:

• Trust your experience. Your feelings and perceptions matter more than convincing someone else.
• Observe behaviour, not promises. Manipulators use good words, broken actions. Focus on what happens. [oai_citation:3‡Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manipulation_%28psychology%29?utm_source=chatgpt.com)
• Establish boundaries and minimize contact. Once you’ve seen through the pattern, disengagement is often the healthiest move.
• Ground yourself. Stabilise by doing what feels safe: routine, trusted friends, clear decisions.

Feeling “stir-crazy” after exposure isn’t a sign you’re losing your mind — it’s a signal you’re waking up.

References: Dr. George K. Simon Jr., “How Covert Narcissists and Aggressors Manipulate,” drgeorgesimon.com. Also blog “Throwing You On The Defensive: The Art of Covert Aggression.” [oai_citation:4‡Character Matters](https://www.drgeorgesimon.com/throwing-you-on-the-defensive-the-art-of-covert-aggression/?utm_source=chatgpt.com)