Codependent Narcissists: Dr. George Simon Explains the Toxic Cycle

Learn how codependent-narcissist dynamics work and how to regain control with boundaries and self-love.

Dr. George K. Simon Jr., author of In Sheep’s Clothing, is a leading expert on manipulative personalities. He describes narcissists—especially covert narcissists—as charming yet controlling, subtly manipulating others to meet their own needs. When a narcissist pairs with a codependent person, it often creates a toxic and self-reinforcing cycle.

What is Codependency?

Codependency occurs when someone relies excessively on another for emotional validation, self-worth, or decision-making. Signs include:

• Prioritizing others’ needs over your own
• Seeking constant approval
• Feeling responsible for the other person’s emotions
• Difficulty setting or enforcing boundaries

The Codependent-Narcissist Dynamic

Simon highlights why this combination is so destructive:

Narcissist Trait	Codependent Response
Needs admiration or control	Gives approval and sacrifices own needs
Lacks empathy	Overcompensates to earn recognition or love
Emotional manipulation	Self-blames and apologizes excessively
Push-pull tactics	Chases the narcissist to maintain harmony

Red Flags to Watch For

• You feel anxious, drained, or “on edge” around the person
• Your self-worth depends on their approval or moods
• You rationalize or excuse harmful behavior
• You feel trapped, guilty, or never enough

Breaking Free: Dr. Simon’s Advice

Healing from a codependent-narcissist relationship requires awareness, boundaries, and self-love:

1. Recognize the pattern: Acknowledge manipulation and your own codependent tendencies.
2. Focus on what you control: Your emotions, boundaries, decisions, and self-care.
3. Set firm boundaries: Limit contact, assert your needs, and stop over-explaining yourself.
4. Seek support: Therapy, support groups, or trusted friends validate your experience.
5. Build self-love: Reclaim your worth independently of the narcissist’s behavior.

Key Takeaways

• Codependent-narcissist relationships are often subtle and hard to spot
• Awareness is the first step to breaking the cycle
• Boundaries, self-love, and self-trust are critical tools for recovery
• Healing is a process—focus on what you can control

Keywords: codependent narcissists, Dr George Simon, narcissistic abuse, toxic relationships, boundaries, emotional manipulation, self-worth, healing from narcissistic abuse